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Author Archives: lindsey
elevate and wait
I have gained 10 to 15 pounds in the past three weeks. It’s all water. And it’s all hanging out below my belly button–mainly in my feet, ankles, and legs. I still have fluid around my right lung, but now … Continue reading
the waiting place
For the past almost-three months i’ve been in this waiting place of pain and discomfort, walks and T.V. shows, pills and insulin, books and crochet needles, unexplained fluid around my lungs and now in my legs, and weight loss, and … Continue reading
not-so-simple life
There’s a song I like called “Simple Life” by The Weepies. The beginning goes like this, “I get up in the morning, put the kettle on, make us some coffee, say ‘hey’ to the sun…” I used to do this too, … Continue reading
good news: take two
I didn’t need good news a year and a half ago when I wrote about the good news I received (and continued to receive) with so much caution. I was thinking about the big picture then–no matter what the news, … Continue reading
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it’s just a number
Neuroendocrine tumors don’t get staged like other types of tumors: they get graded. Quite simply, the tumors get called one of three numbered grades based on how quickly the cells divide and how well-differentiated they are. Grade one is low, … Continue reading
in remembrance
I was writing a post in my head all day today, but all the words suddenly evaporated. Nothing that i’m going through right now seems to matter quite as much as the fact that one of my fellow young adults … Continue reading
fighting cancer with cuddles
The first thing I asked for after I was diagnosed with cancer was a stuffed liver. Instead of wanting to send out the cavalry to battle my diseased liver (and pancreas), I wanted to cuddle with a plush version of … Continue reading
i wish doctors knew everything
I think this wish, that doctors knew everything, goes hand in hand with all the other truths in youth that turn out to not be true as one gets older. I wish my parents could solve every problem. I wish … Continue reading
venturing into the real world
I haven’t been feeling very much like talking or thinking or writing lately. If I ignore how uncomfortable and strange my body feels and instead fill my mind with walks, T.V. shows, books, and crafts, maybe I will feel less … Continue reading
trying to be thankful
I went into writing this post thinking it should sound victorious. Or relieved. Or at least somewhat positive. I’m alive! I feel like writing again! Both of these things are true. But i’m now 10 days post surgery and i’m … Continue reading
