Tag Archives: big appointments

it’s just a number

Neuroendocrine tumors don’t get staged like other types of tumors: they get graded. Quite simply, the tumors get called one of three numbered grades based on how quickly the cells divide and how well-differentiated they are. Grade one is low, … Continue reading

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i wish doctors knew everything

I think this wish, that doctors knew everything, goes hand in hand with all the other truths in youth that turn out to not be true as one gets older. I wish my parents could solve every problem. I wish … Continue reading

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relief

After two years of juggling cancer and grad school, I have now finished grad school and am left with just cancer… and a master’s degree. I will get a job before too long. But right now, it’s noon on a … Continue reading

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the day that I have been waiting for

The day that I have been waiting for has arrived. I am trying to find an appropriate way to describe the type and tenor of the emotions that are swirling through my head right now as I sit on my couch, afternoon … Continue reading

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good news: take one

This post doesn’t contain good news, it is about receiving “good” news. Prompted by some “good” news I received yesterday, if you want to call it that. My family and friends did. I just nodded and tried to pinpoint what I … Continue reading

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lack of control

The hardest thing–which is also, in a weird way, the easiest thing–about cancer is that I literally have no control over what it does. Sure I can decide to take my chemo or not take my chemo, but taking the chemo … Continue reading

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on clarity

I always go into these “big” appointments thinking that finally, once and for all, everything will be clear. That there’s just one scan and one appointment in between me and the whole truth about my illness. That the doctor will … Continue reading

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the checks and balances of a scan

I had a scan today. Scan #7 of this ordeal, fourth PET-CT. I’ve been on another three rounds of the pills since the last scan, and I am feeling relatively good and relatively without symptoms. Which might mean that I don’t have … Continue reading

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