forever a liver

Lindsey Miller, the liver who shared her smile and thoughts with all of you, passed away on May 21, 2014.

She loved this blog and was touched by the kindness of her followers. She gave the world 124 posts and countless articles in other publications. The family appreciates the outpouring of love Lindsey got from this blog for the last 3 years and we will cherish that love forever.

A day and a half before Lindsey passed away, Lindsey’s boyfriend Jeff and Lindsey had a commitment ceremony in the hospital attended by many close family members and friends. It was a beautiful ceremony and made Lindsey so happy.


Lindsey’s journey and outlook on living can be summed up in this quote that was very special to her:

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” (Vivian Greene)

So smile, dance, and live like the liver Lindsey was.

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74 Responses to forever a liver

  1. laurahyacynthia says:

    Knew she was cancerous, she is an example of what is older than me.

  2. Saso says:

    Lindsey, your smile is eternal. Thank you for sharing it with me. Rest in peace and dance away!

  3. Erwin says:

    Rest in peace and thank you for showing us how to not let things stand in our way while chasing everything in life

  4. Thank you, Lindsey. We never met, but I found your blog during my own battle with cancer and was touched by you. I’ll enjoy a dance for you.

  5. Sylvie Gneckow says:

    I am so saddened by Lindsey death and would like to extend my deepest sympathy to her family. My thoughts are with you.

  6. Suzanne in Norway says:

    Rest in peace, and thank you for sharing your story. I work as a radiation therapist, and will bring your experiences regarding care and how we are meeting people in the hospital with me in my mind as I keep on fighting cancer on my patients behalf.

  7. Gary says:

    Lindsey, although we never met in person we did via skype at a support group at Cedars.
    I am sitting here in Bad Berka, the sun is setting . There is now such a stillness.
    Tomorrow my wife Ann will receive her 5th PRRNT.
    You have been on our minds as we just had lunch with Robert and his wife Janette who was your roommate upon your last visit here.
    You have moved on to a higher place and left much love and hope here to so many people like yourself and Janette and my wife Ann and many others who are still bravely fighting the fight that you did so courageously. This time, this world was a better place because of you.
    I will say a prayer and give thanks tonight for all of your love and humor and sharing. Thank you Lindsey, may your light ever shine bright. God bless you. My sincerest condolences to Jeff and your family and loved ones. My heart weighs heavy tonight.


  8. Andrew says:

    Very sad to read this.

  9. Ann Eickhof says:

    I’m so sad as I sit

  10. Ann Eickhof says:

    I’m so sad as I sit here in Germany for my 5th treatment. I don’t understand this taking someone so young. I only met you on skype at the cancer conference in LA as I was of the speakers too! You were and are loved. Blessings to the family as I’m on the same road. God Bless!

  11. Joni Watson says:

    I’ve followed Lindsey’s journey and life through her blog that I found early on in her writing. As an oncology nurse and blogger myself, I enjoyed her perspective and writing style. I’m saddened by this news. My thoughts and prayers are with her family and friends. I will honor Lindsey through the words that you’ve shared here. Even though I never had the privilege of meeting her in person, she is a part of my life simply through her writing. And I’m glad for that.

    I remember her.

  12. b. speakes says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that Lindsey has left us. Her posts were inspiring. I’ll miss her. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to all those who knew and loved her. ❤

  13. Eduardo Cruz says:

    While deeply saddened by the news of Lindsey’s passing, I extend my sympathy to her family, friends and Jeff.

    Let us never forget her words, and may the remembrance of her bright, beautiful smile lighten up the road ahead of you guys.

    As tears roll down for her not being there anymore, the memories of her short yet amazingly beautiful life remain forever in our hearts.

    Prayers, thoughts, and best wishes for keeping it up together are all yours tonight.

    From a friend in Brazil

    Eduardo Cruz

  14. Lynn says:

    I first found Lindsey’s blog when searching for support when my husband was diagnosed with NET cancer as there was so little information or knowledge of this cancer. I have followed her remarkable journey and inspirational spirit since. So I am very sad to hear this unexpected news and my heartfelt sympathy goes to her family and friends. Lindsey was too young to be taken but her smile and tenacity will be remembered here in the UK by my family.

  15. Beatriz says:

    More than two years I’ve been reading this blog, and I was always genuinely happy to see Lindsay’s posts in my news feed. This is sad beyond words.

  16. Coral says:

    Dance, sweet Lindsey! Dance with the angels! You have touched my life these past two years since I found you after my own diagnosis. Please look for my pink ribbon sister, Bridget Spence, too. I think you will love her, and she will you. Love to you… Coral, fellow zebra liver xo

  17. Dd says:

    Am lost for words… – I Had sensed her absence a few days ago…
    May she find the way to help us from wherever she is.

  18. So saddened by the news. Sorry for your loss.

  19. Anna Goodwin says:

    I am so very very sorry. I have followed Lindsey’s blog since my own daughter died of the same cancer on January 14, 2013 at the age of 38. I always had great hopes that Lindsey would live, she was a fighter pretty much like my own Christina was. She tried everything I wanted my daughter to try but had not. Please give my sincerest condoloscences to her parents and loved ones. Should they want to reach out, I live in Lake Tahoe. Anna Goodwin

  20. willow says:

    Dear Lindsey, you are missed and clearly loved. Your writing touched many… so truthful and expressive about something that leaves us speechless. I found your blog after my sister was diagnosed with bile duct/liver cancer and always looked forward to reading your posts. You brought comfort to so many just by sharing your thoughts. I love the idea of you dancing with the angels. Peace be with you.

  21. thoughtsfromastranger says:

    My sincerest condolences to your family on the loss of Lindsey. She was a beautiful writer and a lovely human being. I will miss hearing how she is in the world.

  22. Jessica says:

    I never met Lindsey but have been a huge fan of her writing and this blog…I read this post a few hours ago and it still hasn’t sunk in. Such a bright and loving light. My thoughts and prayers to her family and friends…I wish I had something more eloquent to say….

  23. Teresa says:

    My condolences on your loss. I enjoyed reading Lindsey’s posts and was sad to hear of her passing.

  24. Mark Zwanziger says:

    What a lovely young woman. Thank you Lindsey for your inspiration. It will in all of us for a very long time!

  25. Katie says:

    Lindsey, your writing was a vivid window into your experience for those of us without cancer. It was eye opening. You had a clear, expressive voice that evoked sympathy from your audience and cultivated understanding. Thank you for sharing your experience in such a meaningful way. You were a very special person, and you will be missed.

  26. Francis says:

    I’ll carry your story as an example of bravery and perseverance of the human spirit that is in all of us.

    Thank you so much for your precious time Lindsey! I’ll miss you…

    To her Amazing family and close friends, I give my condolences in this heart breaking moment.


    I’ll dance, thanks to you.

  27. Laurie Becklund says:

    i never met lindsey. i just appreciated her writing, as well as the amazing ups and downs she experienced to get this far. the pictures, the ceremony — please know, those of you who survive her, that the life she lived in the past year meant something in and of itself. thank you for your post.

    Sent from my iPhone


  28. Warren Worrell says:

    I am so sad to hear about Lindsey. I followed her blog and hoped and prayed for her. She was a ray of hope and love. She did so much in her young life. She has inspired so many all over the world. God Bless your wonderful family.

    Warren Worrell
    Monon, Indiana

  29. Kathy says:

    I learned of Lindsey’s blog through Ragan and have read every post. She inspires me…and set an incredible example of how to live. I’m thankful for her. I’m happy to see the photo of the ceremony, and her beautiful smile! Keeping you all in my prayers.

  30. Pedro P says:

    I am sad to hear about Lindsey. She was a inspirational person. It’s been more than a couple of years I’ve reading her texts and I am really sorry to hear what happened to hear. Wish my best feelings to her family.

    Pedro Pavioti
    Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

  31. Deborah lawton says:

    So sad! She was such an inspiration in sharing this terrible hand of cards. Her picture at the ceremony with her boyfriend was absolutely radiant! You could always see Lyndsey’s heart and feel the loving bonds of her family. She was a fighter, a lover and always a liver.

  32. Jennifer says:

    I don’t know how I discovered this blog but I quickly grew to admire Lindsey’s strength and courage to share her journey. I haven’t checked her blog in a few months and thought of it today so I was saddened to learn of her passing. It was quite obvious that Lindsey loved her family and friends. I hope the loving memories gives you comfort. May her spirt live on.

  33. Donna Hayes says:

    I was saddened to see Lindsey’s blogs drop off over the past few months and had an ominous feeling. My 35-year-old daughter-in-law, mother of a 3-year-old and an 8-year-old, is 16 months into her journey with pNET. We are traveling the same path as Lindsey, so I feel that one day our sweet Jenny will be joining your lovely Lindsey. Prayers for your family.

  34. Julie says:

    I feel very blessed to have had Lindsey in my life via her writing. Sending love and peace to your family.

  35. I am so saddened to hear this news. I will be praying for your family and friends. And what a blessing that you were able to enjoy that commitment ceremony. I’m sure it meant so much to all of you.

  36. Mike says:

    I am very sorry to hear this 😦 While I did not know Lindsey, I have followed her blog for nearly 3 years. She was a fantastic writer and always knew how to look at the positive things in life. RIP Lindsey.

  37. Matt says:

    Really moved and saddened to read this, I was following Lindsey’s life and fight for nearly 3 years, I was confident about the future, I was wrong. God ways are mysterious. My prayers are with your family, your husband and friend Jeff. You changed something in us. Thank you. Rest in peace.

  38. JN in Kansas City says:

    I am deeply saddened by the loss of this beautiful soul! I had been following this blog and Lindsey’s story for a few years now! My deepest sympathy to Lindsey’s family, friends and Jeff!

  39. AutismandAlly says:

    I was the first comment!

  40. My deepest condolences to Lindsey’s family, friends and all those who she touched so deeply with her writing. May she rest in peace.

  41. AshMac says:

    Even when you know it’s coming the shock is indescribable.
    My heart goes out to the family. I am truly sorry for this devastating loss.

  42. It is with deep sadness that we learned of Lindsey’s passing. Lindsey so graciously shared her blog, i am a liver, on the Carcinoid Cancer Foundation’s website. She inspired other carcinoid and neuroendocrine cancer patients. We will miss you, Linsey.

  43. atom_9 says:

    I spoke with Lindsey a few times and she helped me in a time of darkness regarding my pancreas she gave 110 percent she is smart could have been a GI doctor with all her knowledge and how she used it to help anyone she can. She is my hero not LeBron James not Philip Rivers or Marty St Louis but Lindsey.

  44. Cathy says:

    Lindsey has been an inspiration for not only me, but each person she met either in person or via the internet. I miss her words and her insight regarding life. She faced any adversity with that million dollar smile. I was fortunate to have spent a weekend with Jeff and Lindsey at Manhattan Beach, days before her last hospitalization, We had so much fun together and had the opportunity to really get to know each other. We squeezed so much into those 4 days, and I got to see the special love that they shared. Love can be easy when things are going smoothly, yet even with the many challenges that they faced..they did it together. Arm and Arm..Heart to Heart, and with that smile that could light up the darkest night. When I hear these words from John O’Donohue I think of Lindsey:
    Your love is like the dawn,
    Brightening our lives,
    The sound of your voice found for us,
    A new music that brightened everything.
    You placed smiles like flowers on the altar of our hearts.
    Your mind always sparkled at the wonder of things.
    Though your days here were brief, your spirit is alive, awake, and complete..

    I really miss Lindsey..there were so many chapters yet to be written…but when my thoughts are sad…I know she would want us to
    Dance in the Rain…and I know the world is a better place because of Lindsey.
    Lindsey may you inspire all of us..
    To enter each day with a generous heart filled with the courage and love with which you lived your life.
    Hugs and Blessings…you are in our hearts and family forever.

  45. Maria says:

    I am so saddened to hear of Lindsey’s passing. I came across this blog a couple of years ago and was really touched by her story. She had such a happy and strong spirit. My sincerest condolences to her family and loved ones ❤

  46. Pingback: In Memory of Lindsey Miller: What Are You (Really) Going to do With Your Life? | The Worrywart's Guide to Weight, Sex, and Marriage

  47. The Buddha says:

    Some survive. Some do not. I will never know why I did. Requiescat in pace, dear gentle spirit. You now belong to the universe.

  48. AshMac says:

    To the family, delicately, many of us would be curious to know if doctors found out why all the fluid was accumulating and what went wrong. I knew things were not great, but I had no idea things were taking such a dramatic turn. It came out of nowhere. Did doctors give any indication that the time was drawing near and why? Did they have any other options? Did they just give up? What happened? Why didn’t the Germany treatments work? Did they make things worse? Did they make things better? What happened? WHY?! I apologize. It’s just so stunningly awful. I don’t know how to assimilate it.

  49. Rest in peace L. Take care.

  50. Tim says:

    So very sad. My heart goes out to all her family and friends during this time. Lindsey has been an incredible and inspirational young lady who has touched so many hearts with her writings. May she rest in piece with the angels.

  51. Cathy says:

    Thinking of you today Lindsey…the day you were born the world was blessed with your smile and inspiration. You are so missed today and every day. Holding your family and Jeff in my thoughts and prayers.
    Love Cathy

  52. Robert says:

    I first learned about you and your blog through a Swedish newspaper when you made that recording which went viral. Since then I have been back on several sporadic ocations to catch up on your progress and so it is with great, great sadness that I only first today learned about your passing. Even though we never met your story touched me and I feel for your friends and loved ones who only got to have you in their life for the shortest of times.
    All we need is love. Rest in peace.

  53. Cathy says:

    I can’t believe it is a year since Lindsey left us…and yet her spirit lives on in everyone she has ever touched…how could it not. Lindsey lived life with passion and heart. Someone told me at a bereavement session that a person never dies until stories and memories about them are no longer told. That being the case, Lindsey will live on forever.
    There is not a day that I don’t think of Lindsey. She is always in my heart. I walked the labyrinth in Lindsey’s memory this month. It was almost to the day that we went to the Tar pits for dog adoption day. I carried memories of Lindsey with me….and when I was done I added a beautiful stone from Iona, Scotland with the inscription
    Lindsey Forever a Liver..Your Smile is a blessing..
    to the rock cairn in her memory.
    My life is forever changed for knowing Lindsey. She has inspired me to live in the moment and dance even in the storms and rain of life.

    In my heart I have no question that Will the Dog is a gift to Jeff from Lindsey. Will crawled into the cracks in Jeff’s heart… One can’t look at him without smiling and every picture I have ever seen of Lindsey there is a smile that can brighten any day.

    Where ever you are Lindsey know that you are forever loved and remembered today and always.
    Hugs to your family and friends who continue to miss you….
    With Love Cathy

  54. Roland says:

    A poem by Lindsey from 2003:


    It’s unmistakable
    The whisper of the familiar.
    Dry, loud gusts of wind
    The feel and smell of the sheets
    The scratchy brown blankets.
    Even the air
    Is pleasantly cool
    With a hint of that
    Las Vegas-air-conditioning cold
    The sick, dull ache of hunger,
    Vacation relaxation,
    Even my eyes play tricks
    Because I’m using those same old
    And the mattress is thin
    And springy and soft
    And the joints creak
    As the thin metal frame
    Tells of the time that it broke
    So many years ago.
    But the distant hum of windchimes
    Tell me it’s not real.

    – Lindsey Miller

  55. Brian Wangler says:

    Wow. Just found this blog. I’m a minister researching for a Christmas series and stumbled onto her post last Christmas. Deeply moved. To all Lindsey’s family and friends, my prayers are with you today and I’ll always remember her story. Her love and life continue to speak. Peace. – Brian from Chicago

  56. Cathy says:

    Lindsey I am thinking of your magnificent smile on this sunny spring morning and how knowing you are a blessing and a gift to everyone you touch. Your memory stays alive in each story and thought of those who love you. I miss you but feel your presence and your huge heart. May you continue to bless and watch over your family and friends. Know that you are loved and an inspiration.
    Love Cathy

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  58. Informative blogging, I just want to share my thoughts with your blog audience that the liver is formed of different types of cells making it susceptible to the formation of different types of cancers. These cancers can either invade the surrounding tissue turning them dangerous (malignant) or remain in the liver as benign. The malignant or benign tumors have separate causes and ways of treatment. The treatment plan depends on the overall health of patient, the stage of tumor and the functioning of liver.

  59. Phil says:

    She was amazing- so brave and strong, and such a talented writer.
    I followed her posts for a long time- until they stopped.
    I still think of her…..

  60. Cathy says:

    Lindsey three years ago I witnessed one of your dreams come true, being a beautiful bride. And you were so happy! Your smile still brightens all those that loved you and your spirit lives on in all of our hearts. I know you are the angel that graces our lives. Thank you for being an inspiration and for sharing your journey and love with the world. Your light shines on and I know you are dancing to the rhythm of your heart. Hugs and love.

  61. Cathy says:

    Happy Birth Day Lindsey. I think of you all the time and feel your beautiful spirit in the wind. You inspired not only myself but everyone you touched. Today as I walk and feel the strong breeze I will think of you strength. Today when the sun warms my face I will see your smile. Knowing you are always with us as long as we continue to remember the moments we shared with you. In the rain today I will dance in the storm and celebrate an amazing woman who loved and lived bravely and boldly. Thank you for all that you are and continue to be in our hearts and memories. Love Cathy

  62. Cathy says:

    Hi Lindsey,
    I watched the royal wedding yesterday and my thoughts took me back to 4 years ago. The blending of so many emotions that day as your dream of being a bride became real. On the edge of smiles were tears that life wasn’t going to turn the tide, and your departure was nearing. But as the minister said yesterday. “There is power in love. Two people fell in love and we all showed up. Love is the way. ” Grief can cause our hearts to constrict. But if we can remain open to love…your love, your passion, and your energy, our hearts may soften and allow your spirit and love to shine through us. Then maybe each of us can make this world a better place. I truly know in your brief years your life was expansive in living and loving. Thank you for making this world a better place by being in it and continuing from afar. Thinking of you this morning with love.

  63. Cathy says:

    Happy Birthday Lindsey!
    The day you were born the world celebrated for no one else could fill the unique place that was created just for you. I don’t understand why it was so brief, but those are the answers to questions which only you may understand from your view of life now.
    What I do know is you shined your light as bright as you could till it was time to leave.
    The Native Americans believe that though our bodies die, our souls dance forever along the Milky Way.
    May you hear the music and continue to light up our skies not only on your birthday but everyday.
    Holding you in light and love.

    • Scott M. says:

      Cathy… thank you for your regular posts and lovely words. Lindsey was very special and your remembrances are very welcome and appreciated by Debbie and me.

  64. Phil says:

    She was a gift. I loved her wonderful posts and her strength.
    I hope she cruises the stars.

  65. Scott M. says:

    This is Lindsey’s Dad, wonderful that her memory lives on as we approach 5 years without that smile, talent, daughter, friend, sister with us. Thank you.

  66. Phil says:

    She was wonderful- such an amazing talent and spirit. I think of her often, and wish I’d known her longer.

  67. Cathy says:

    The whistling wind awoke me in the wee hours this morning. There was an urgent request.. listen to me…wake up. I wondered in my sleepy stupor what was asking for my attention. And suddenly I knew, the answer came quickly and clearly…it was the morning 5 years ago that Lindsey left us. How can it be 5 years…at times the details seem like yesterday and at other times so long since her beautiful smile blessed this earth. The spirit of the wind a reminder that all those that have left us are still near in a realm we can’t see, but in our hearts and minds eye are still present. Morning came with a glorious beautiful bright sunshine…Beautiful Day…Beautiful you. We miss you Lindsey, and yet I know your radiant spirit still blesses us and reminds me to stay present to all of life. The challenge and the celebration. To remember that even in the hard there is light. “To know as you know that the hollow inside us that pain has made is really a chalice to hold this light without a name””….
    With Love…Cathy

  68. Cathy says:

    Happy Birthday Lindsey!
    Today is a day filled with bright sunshine, which always makes me think of how your radiant smile could fill a room with light. The world has definitely missed you, and yet you left a mark on so many in the brief years that you had. Your grace in the storm, a powerful message on how to live life. You are Forever A Liver in all our hearts. May your spirit continue to ignite a spark for a world in need. Thank you for your inspiration.
    With love and admiration. Cathy

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